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Sunday, December 6, 2015

Growing up in so many ways..................




December 3rd Logan turned 12.  So hard to believe he is a tween now. I've been watching him closely for the last 4 months to see how he is changing not only physically but socially, mentally and spiritually.


Logan is turning into a pretty amazing person, now with that being said he having his moments of smart mouthiness but quick attitude change comes when the cell phone goes away and his gaming but overall he's a pretty great kid.


His grades are great, two had dropped to B's but back up to A's and his saxaphone  playing pretty great, his first concert was on his bday and they were amazing.


Socially well we are getting there, trying to teach him he just can't run up to anyone who he thinks is a friend and tell that person to tell a certain girl that he's in love with them without people looking at him like what in tarnation was that !

Logan is very VERY confident which is a good thing but can be a double edged sword at times, yes he has that confidence but wow we are teaching that in this day in age he needs to watch himself because everyone gets upset over the littlest of things, reign it in a bit lover boy !


Physically of course he's changing but he's still the bumbler and fumbler, just today he fell in the drive way and banged up his shins and arms by barely running, DRIVEWAY 1  -  LOGAN 0.


Spiritually this is the one area that I don't quite often worry about because there is something about him and the way he carries his spirituality.  A few weeks ago Logan came to me and stated he needed to talk to a guidance counselor about his friend  " John " I asked him why. Logan explained that some of the boys in his small group at his church were referring to his friend " John" as Waldo, the kid doing this rides " John's bus " and apparently a lot of the sixth graders are referring to " John " as Waldo and NOT in a nice way. ( didn't know about the last part of a lot of sixth graders being in on this til after our discussion and talking with another parent and their child )

I explained to Logan that the guidance counselor at school does need to be notified if it's happening at school but for church I would find out who we need to speak with to get this under control because that this kid is doing is not Christ like example BUT I also don't want Logan to become a target of these kids either.  So I found out who I need to speak with and all that jazz but I'm still proud of Logan for wanting the others to do the right thing.

I explained to the kids that just because you go to church doesn't mean anything, it's your actions and the things you say that matter and show people the love of Christ. I have failed in that area, we all have but I keep pushing and keep trying to show the kids that Love even in the sesspool place we call earth, Love is the key.


Yesterday one of the most interesting things happened to where Logan was tested in his faith to his beliefs and I am quite proud of him.

I got him the new Captain Underpants book ( GAG ME ) for his birthday, I have always been like eew on this series, potty humor and the fact Logan wants to read it all the time instead of books that are above his capability was driving me crazy. So I gave him this book  Thursday. Yesterday afternoon he came to me looking all concerned and said " I don't think I can read this book anymore, something is wrong " I asked what was wrong with the book and he said there was a same sex couple in the book ( this is a child to tween cartoonish comic book ). There in black and white was this passage Uncle Harold and HIS HUSBAND and there was a picture of the two men together with their family.

I said  " Do you still want to read the book or series, you can it's up to you " Logan replied, " No, because it's wrong and I don't want to read it anymore "

I am so proud of Logan, he overcame his loving of this book series to stand by his principles and it wasn't that hard for him, it was just like a matter of fact and that was it so today we are going back to the book store and exchanging his book for another book.

Now think what you want, we know gay families and my children understand we still love them, we don't judge them, we just don't agree with that lifestyle and that IS OKAY and I teach my children it is okay to have a different view and NOT to be brainwashed by their school or society that will tell them they are wrong.



Logan's birthday weekend is at a close and it's been a wonderful weekend filled with  friends  and family and the people who love him dearly. Logan understands how truly blessed he is to have people who love him.  We exchanged his book and had his favorite pizza place and now we are just relaxing.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Hey Logan, your armor is showing ......................




I have to say middle school transition has been great for Logan, a few things here and there that are to be expected with middle schoolers  but I am really proud of of Logan. Saxaphone playing sounds soooo goood and soothing!

For health class Logan had to bring a box of 8 things that represent who he is, items  he took

1. A chess piece

2. A gaming controller

3. A sheet of music

4. Pictures of Ava

5. Pictures of our family

6. A guitar pick

7.  A book

8. His special bible that Rachel gave him last year.


Now Logan said he was nervous about taking the bible, I told him it was up to him, he needs to do what he feels he's led too.


Later that day when I came home, I said how did your presentation go ? He said it went great, he told me what he said on every object he took, I said what did you say about your  Bible and did anyone react negatively ?

Logan said " I told them this Bible is my most treasured possession and it shows everyone who I am and it was given to me by my very special Friend Rachel who came home from Africa. "

I hugged him so tight and I whispered " Your light is shining "

So he also told me about a boy who he has known since  kindergarten was harassing  him because he brought his bible, the kid stated " YOU can't bring that to school, you can't even take it to McDonald's "

 I told Logan, sometimes people, even children can have black hearts for whatever reason, what did you say to him ? Logan said he ignored him because he knows the law and he follows his heart.


A few days after Logan shared his box, a kid came up to Logan and said he was watching him during his presentation and invited him to join the FCA ( fellowship of Christian Athletes ) at the school, Logan said I hate sports,  ( LOL ) they kid explained what they do to Logan, Logan came home and announced he was no longer doing  coding club  because FCA was more important and I am so proud of this because he WILL have A support system in school with kids who have the same belief as he does, it's comforting.

I'm glad we are constantly talking to the children about ways others especially kids their age can really do damage to their belief system because they want to fit in and we are constantly reinforcing what it means to be a christian, to NOT let society tell us what laws we have to obey if we don't believe in something, TO NOT be forced to, we don't answer to man, we answer to our creator.

Build that armor now so they know how to stand up for their  beliefs and themselves
Thursday, April 2, 2015

March 28th 9 yrs ago..................

                                                                 

You're thinking March 28th 2006  ? hmmmm it sounds so familiar and so long ago.

It was Ava's first birthday when we got that fateful call that morning to bring Logan to testing.

I already knew in my heart for months  what the answer was going to be.


They were gone for hours, Logan and Ryan but I knew when they returned, my husband's face when he had left was happy and maybe a little apprehensive  had changed to a face of worry, anxiety and fear and pain, the death of our first child, well the child we had known for 2 yrs and now on our sweet girl's first birthday sorrow had taken over.........



But for those who know us, we don't allow Logan's D day ( diagnoses day  ) Overshadow Ava's birthdays, it's her day to feel super amazing.


It was a conscience decision we had to make, Ava was not at fault of it happening that day, her day.

I remember Logan coming thru the door and smiling and running to his grandmother and to his sister, happy as always.

When Ryan told me they confirmed it, I cried, not my baby even though I had known in my heart for months.

So many fears of OMG he's NOT NORMAL, he's going to be the weird kid like I was !! He won't have any friends, what are we going to do  ???

How will Ava turn out having a brother who's so different and what about her?  Will she have it ?



We all handled it in our own ways but after a few months we were on the same page as far as discipline continuing and loving Ava and Logan the same and we would not treat him as a disability.


It was such hard work and Ava right by her brother's side NEVER letting him retreat to the solidarity cage inside himself.

Days and years of therapy, and IEP's have paid off.

I remember once Logan came home in first grade and told me he didn't like having autism, it was frustrating to him.

YES Logan has always known he's autistic, why hide it ?

BUT now he understands that some of how he is so academically gifted and gifted in other areas is because of his autism.

A few months ago we explained to Logan when we found out and how he was diagnosed on Ava's first birthday and this really upset him and his response was " Ava, I'm sorry I ruined your first birthday."

We sat down and had a long talk and I assured him he didn't ruin her birthday, it's just another interesting story we have for our life.

BUT the most important thing to take away from this blog is our marriage

The divorce rate among parents with children with special needs is Soooooooooooooooo high it's between 80 and 90 percent.

THE ONE thing that sticks out about that day the most is this interaction between Ryan and I later that night

ME " it took so long, why did it take you guys so long to get home ?"  ( from his testing )
Ryan " I took the long way home to give you 20 more minutes of the life you knew before it changed"

That my friends is what I remember most about that day, my husband taking that time to think of me and what this was going to do to me and our life as a family and I am forever grateful for Ryan for loving me enough for thinking of me in those moments when his heart was breaking.




I love you Ryan



Change the world............

Logan had to write a paper for class on he is going to change the world  and here it is.








                                                                      

                                                          Change the world !

Many people don't know the cause of autism. It's very stressful for parents because it could be hard to raise a kid who doesn't want to be touched, hugged or kissed. Researchers are trying their hardest to find out what causes autism,but they have had no such luck yet.



Luckily, there are very few kids  ( like me ) with autism who want to help. So I want to start an organization that donates money to researchers who try to figure out the cause of autism.

People will run anywhere in the world and for every mile they run, $100.00 are donated to researchers.

Together, we can change the world by figuring out the cause of autism !

Logan Foster



Saturday, February 7, 2015

Early morning revelation ..............

                                                                           


  This morning while I was re organizing Ava's room at 6:30am I started to think of my family, like my mom, my dad and my siblings.

Now for those of you who grew up with me, you know how odd my family can be, say what you want when you want, NO MATTER how it makes you look and I grew up in that environment so to me it was normal until I got older and away from that environment that I learned when to pull back and NOT  express my opinion on every matter or situation ( thank you in part to Ryan for helping me with that )

So a lot of times I struggle with the way my family is , emotionally stunted, the I'm gonna say what I want no matter what in your face attitude. I remember when they came to visit a few yrs ago and my dad especially would talk to my neighbors, I wouldn't be right up close to the situation but I could see my neighbors face during the conversation, that look people get when they are thinking, " ooooooooooooooh okay what kind of drugs is this person taking "

People who have met my parents then know  me now and even people who knew me growing up always state /" WOW you are nothing like your family "

NOW please don't think this is a blog about bashing my parents or family because it is NOT. 


Here is the revelation, some of you may know this story, heck some of you might have been in my class when I did this.

When I was in the 7th grade  We are the world  was the MAJOR thing, and people were giving money and oh save those kids help help help. 


NOW, all my life growing up I've heard " They shouldn't have so many kids , they can't feed them and they are dying, or They should move and try to farm somewhere else. WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY, we have are own problems here

So one day in history class in 7th grade, the teacher had some kids debate on the we are the world subject.  So first up is the miss popular girl and she lists all the reasons we should help and heck  Michael Jackson told us to so we have to.  When the teacher asked for a rebuttal NO ONE said anything or stood up. I must've made a face or rolled my eyes during the girls speech because the teacher says " Cija, you feel a different way ?" I didn't say anything. My teacher encouraged me to go to the podium if I had a different view. 

I tell you I was scared, so scared because I was already the weird girl with the weird name, dressed funny, you name it !

And this is what I said "

Are you kidding me ? " Mary, weren't you and your little gang of friends just making fun of " Suzy " at lunch because her family is poor, her clothes have holes in them and she has a brown paper bagged lunch with two things to eat in it ? WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY ! "

YOU want to help a country that will NEVER be out of that situation but yet you make Suzy feel bad because her parents don't have money, you're a bad person period ."

I went back to my seat and sat down.  The room was so quiet , I think everyone was stunned , even the teacher was stunned. YOU might be a  little stunned at reading  of what I had said because you have never heard me say such a thing.

So today as I sat in Ava's floor, I prayed " God, please show me why, why why did I Have these loud opinionated obnoxious parents that I feel no connection too. I love them but please give me an
answer"

Then it hit me like a  ton of bricks
" I made them like this to teach you to be strong in your beliefs so you could teach your children to be strong in their beliefs.

Deciding to follow Jesus and have the kids to follow has been the most rewarding thing in my life, I see Logan and Ava standing up for their God and NOT waivering  in their beliefs.

Logan's homework last week, there was a question dealing with muslims and the Koran. I crossed it out. Logan asked me why and I explained to him why. About 10 minutes later I walked back into the room to make sure he packed up his homework and I saw he wrote next to that question I marked out " I cannot answer this question based on my beliefs."


My 11 yr old is standing up for his beliefs and his GOD and against the liberal mind set of public school already !

At the bus stop he said " the teacher is going to mark it wrong, I said Logan who in the end do you answer to ?  "

Logan " God "


Me " okay, so I really don't care if you get it wrong, there will be times in your life where people will mock you, make fun of you, want to hurt you, shun you because of your beliefs Logan but stay true to what you know and the reward in the end is sooo much better than it is here"

I have a lot of issues with my parents, things that have been done and said and still said but I do love them for giving me that part of me to stand up for what I believe in but Now I just do it in a more grown up mature way

So yes now I give, we are supportive of missionaries who travel the world, we give to our church to help those who cannot help themselves.

And yes helping those in Africa IS VERY VERY VERY important, point is, I know that now with the help of Christ.

I have changed a lot over the last 15 yrs but I still have that fire that I will defend what I believe in and that comes from having loud obnoxious 
opinionated parents and there is my connection ;)