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Monday, May 30, 2016

Another birthday has come and gone and what we are learning


So Ava's 11th  birthday was a few months ago ( sorry for the delay on a new blog ).

Ava's party was fun as always and her and her friends had a great time.

Over the last few months I've noticed changes happening within Ava and her friends.


I see that Ava is learning to say NO to be manipulated by certain friends and asserting herself more which I applaud her, I am appalled at home some people don't see the way their kids really are and yes I know Ava is NOT perfect, I know she has said and done things but we address them head on and use them as a way to guide her.

I've noticed within Ava to want to break free from being a little girl NOT completely , she still wants to dissolve chalk and use it as play make up so it gets in her air and in her ears but then she will turn around after she washes it all off and will state and try to will me that she can wear this top with those tights or pants even though it looks hideous together but you know, look hideous if you want child. I will choose my battles at this point.


Ava can handle herself online well and yes to answer this for other parents, I SEE every word she and your children types to her , even in her games she plays ( when I am sitting next to her, or I log in to check her chats for the week ) and I hold her accountable for the way she behaves even when others are trying to lead her astray from what she knows is right and wrong.

I've caught a lot of interesting conversations through animal jam and Facebook messenger (* yes my kids have Face book with the sole purpose from when our friend was missioning around the world they could speak with her at anytime and for  playing games ) but again I check every few days on posts and conversations.

Sad thing is, I think if I showed some of these other parents what their kids have said when they don't think an adult is seeing they wouldn't care or they would deflect or deny their precious baby didn't say those things but I have it all saved ....... incase ............


The physical change with Ava has been mind blowing as well, she is no longer  a little girl in the bodily sense, it's crazy to think in  6 yrs she will be dating !

Ava and her bestie will be performing in the school talent show doing  a singing number this coming Friday ~! Lots of things happening and changing.


My main goal for Ava right now is for her to remain strong in who she is, don't let ANYONE manipulate her, even if it means losing the manipulator as a friend. For her to control her mouth ( yes she comes by this honestly from me ) and when it's best to keep quiet and just let people ruin themselves because eventually people will turn and walk away from those who tend to do others harm.

Above all, even if someone has been unkind to her, she need to be kind, she needs to weather the storm to come out the other side of the rainbow.

Ava you can fly as long as you give up things and those who weigh you down.


Monday, February 1, 2016

So it begins .........................



Ava is on the threshold  of turning 11, if you can believe that !

Today when she got home she informed us two of her classmates were making fun of her because she wore a sweater dress and jeans underneath it. Now the sweater is a little long but I don't consider it  a dress but I don't know much about fashion.

The two girls also were picking on her saying " Are you really going to wear that to middle school ? that kinda of outfit and that silly zebra coat ?  "

I asked Ava what was her reply, Ava said she said " no " just to make them be quiet.

OH and also her boots didn't mean anything because they didn't say  Uggs on them.

I hugged Ava and told her " You looked great today ! I wish I had such sassy clothes like that and you have your own style and what is more important than how we look ? "

Ava - " what's inside "


Me -  That's right and today those girls had an ugliness in them and one day someone is going to do it to them  BUT I expect you to do the right thing.



I know Ava isn't perfect but she knows that teasing someone because of clothes is a horrible thing to do. WE CHOOSE NOT to buy over priced boots and clothes, THERE IS NO POINT to it  but my kids look pretty dang good when they leave the house.

Building your child's armor and their ability to withstand others cruelty  is the MOST important thing you can do to get them ready for the onslaught of middle school and high school.

Parents YOU NEED to see and KNOW how your child behaves when YOU are not around. I guess the one thing that keeps Ava in check is that she has a shadow and that shadow is  a 6yr old neighbor girl who  LOVES , LOVES Ava and looks up to Ava ( and of course the man upstairs ) and wants to be like her so much. I get a lot of compliments from other parents in our neighborhood about how Ava is so gentle and kind with the littler kids but we don't raise her to be kind for compliments, we raise her to be kind because it's the human thing to do.

And if YOU see Ava behaving in a way that is wrong, I would appreciate knowing so I can address it and she can learn a lesson from her behavior. I have caught her once or twice being snide or not so nice with some and she made her shadow cry once  and I called the the girl  and Ava over  and explained to  Ava how to explain to the child that she needed a break but would be out to play later and the funny thing is 6 months later this same girl who is Ava's shadow said the same thing to another neighborhood child, " I need a short break for a few minutes to rest, I will be back out later "chain reaction of having better communication.


We can't be there every waking moment but I want to know her armor is strong to be able withstand these mean girls that are there now and the meaner they get when they get older


You can do this AVA !

I love you

I'm proud of you
Don't let them get to you, these moments won't matter in 20 yrs, the only thing that matters in 20 yrs are the friends who stuck by you and would tell these mean girls to get lost.