This morning while I was re organizing Ava's room at 6:30am I started to think of my family, like my mom, my dad and my siblings.
Now for those of you who grew up with me, you know how odd my family can be, say what you want when you want, NO MATTER how it makes you look and I grew up in that environment so to me it was normal until I got older and away from that environment that I learned when to pull back and NOT express my opinion on every matter or situation ( thank you in part to Ryan for helping me with that )
So a lot of times I struggle with the way my family is , emotionally stunted, the I'm gonna say what I want no matter what in your face attitude. I remember when they came to visit a few yrs ago and my dad especially would talk to my neighbors, I wouldn't be right up close to the situation but I could see my neighbors face during the conversation, that look people get when they are thinking, " ooooooooooooooh okay what kind of drugs is this person taking "
People who have met my parents then know me now and even people who knew me growing up always state /" WOW you are nothing like your family "
NOW please don't think this is a blog about bashing my parents or family because it is NOT.
Here is the revelation, some of you may know this story, heck some of you might have been in my class when I did this.
When I was in the 7th grade We are the world was the MAJOR thing, and people were giving money and oh save those kids help help help.
NOW, all my life growing up I've heard " They shouldn't have so many kids , they can't feed them and they are dying, or They should move and try to farm somewhere else. WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY, we have are own problems here
So one day in history class in 7th grade, the teacher had some kids debate on the we are the world subject. So first up is the miss popular girl and she lists all the reasons we should help and heck Michael Jackson told us to so we have to. When the teacher asked for a rebuttal NO ONE said anything or stood up. I must've made a face or rolled my eyes during the girls speech because the teacher says " Cija, you feel a different way ?" I didn't say anything. My teacher encouraged me to go to the podium if I had a different view.
I tell you I was scared, so scared because I was already the weird girl with the weird name, dressed funny, you name it !
And this is what I said "
Are you kidding me ? " Mary, weren't you and your little gang of friends just making fun of " Suzy " at lunch because her family is poor, her clothes have holes in them and she has a brown paper bagged lunch with two things to eat in it ? WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY ! "
YOU want to help a country that will NEVER be out of that situation but yet you make Suzy feel bad because her parents don't have money, you're a bad person period ."
I went back to my seat and sat down. The room was so quiet , I think everyone was stunned , even the teacher was stunned. YOU might be a little stunned at reading of what I had said because you have never heard me say such a thing.
So today as I sat in Ava's floor, I prayed " God, please show me why, why why did I Have these loud opinionated obnoxious parents that I feel no connection too. I love them but please give me an answer"
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks " I made them like this to teach you to be strong in your beliefs so you could teach your children to be strong in their beliefs.
Deciding to follow Jesus and have the kids to follow has been the most rewarding thing in my life, I see Logan and Ava standing up for their God and NOT waivering in their beliefs.
Logan's homework last week, there was a question dealing with muslims and the Koran. I crossed it out. Logan asked me why and I explained to him why. About 10 minutes later I walked back into the room to make sure he packed up his homework and I saw he wrote next to that question I marked out " I cannot answer this question based on my beliefs."
My 11 yr old is standing up for his beliefs and his GOD and against the liberal mind set of public school already !
At the bus stop he said " the teacher is going to mark it wrong, I said Logan who in the end do you answer to ? "
Logan " God "
Me " okay, so I really don't care if you get it wrong, there will be times in your life where people will mock you, make fun of you, want to hurt you, shun you because of your beliefs Logan but stay true to what you know and the reward in the end is sooo much better than it is here"
I have a lot of issues with my parents, things that have been done and said and still said but I do love them for giving me that part of me to stand up for what I believe in but Now I just do it in a more grown up mature way
So yes now I give, we are supportive of missionaries who travel the world, we give to our church to help those who cannot help themselves.
And yes helping those in Africa IS VERY VERY VERY important, point is, I know that now with the help of Christ.
I have changed a lot over the last 15 yrs but I still have that fire that I will defend what I believe in and that comes from having loud obnoxious opinionated parents and there is my connection ;)
