Change the world............

Logan had to write a paper for class on he is going to change the world  and here it is.








                                                                      

                                                          Change the world !

Many people don't know the cause of autism. It's very stressful for parents because it could be hard to raise a kid who doesn't want to be touched, hugged or kissed. Researchers are trying their hardest to find out what causes autism,but they have had no such luck yet.

Luckily, there are very few kids  ( like me ) with autism who want to help. So I want to start an organization that donates money to researchers who try to figure out the cause of autism.

People will run anywhere in the world and for every mile they run, $100.00 are donated to researchers.

Together, we can change the world by figuring out the cause of autism !

Logan Foster

Early morning revelation ..............

                                                                           

  This morning while I was re organizing Ava's room at 6:30am I started to think of my family, like my mom, my dad and my siblings.

Now for those of you who grew up with me, you know how odd my family can be, say what you want when you want, NO MATTER how it makes you look and I grew up in that environment so to me it was normal until I got older and away from that environment that I learned when to pull back and NOT  express my opinion on every matter or situation ( thank you in part to Ryan for helping me with that )

So a lot of times I struggle with the way my family is , emotionally stunted, the I'm gonna say what I want no matter what in your face attitude. I remember when they came to visit a few yrs ago and my dad especially would talk to my neighbors, I wouldn't be right up close to the situation but I could see my neighbors face during the conversation, that look people get when they are thinking, " ooooooooooooooh okay what kind of drugs is this person taking "

People who have met my parents then know  me now and even people who knew me growing up always state /" WOW you are nothing like your family "

NOW please don't think this is a blog about bashing my parents or family because it is NOT. 

Here is the revelation, some of you may know this story, heck some of you might have been in my class when I did this.

When I was in the 7th grade  We are the world  was the MAJOR thing, and people were giving money and oh save those kids help help help. 

NOW, all my life growing up I've heard " They shouldn't have so many kids , they can't feed them and they are dying, or They should move and try to farm somewhere else. WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY, we have are own problems here

So one day in history class in 7th grade, the teacher had some kids debate on the we are the world subject.  So first up is the miss popular girl and she lists all the reasons we should help and heck  Michael Jackson told us to so we have to.  When the teacher asked for a rebuttal NO ONE said anything or stood up. I must've made a face or rolled my eyes during the girls speech because the teacher says " Cija, you feel a different way ?" I didn't say anything. My teacher encouraged me to go to the podium if I had a different view. 

I tell you I was scared, so scared because I was already the weird girl with the weird name, dressed funny, you name it !

And this is what I said "

Are you kidding me ? " Mary, weren't you and your little gang of friends just making fun of " Suzy " at lunch because her family is poor, her clothes have holes in them and she has a brown paper bagged lunch with two things to eat in it ? WE SHOULD HELP AMERICANS ONLY ! "

YOU want to help a country that will NEVER be out of that situation but yet you make Suzy feel bad because her parents don't have money, you're a bad person period ."

I went back to my seat and sat down.  The room was so quiet , I think everyone was stunned , even the teacher was stunned. YOU might be a  little stunned at reading  of what I had said because you have never heard me say such a thing.

So today as I sat in Ava's floor, I prayed " God, please show me why, why why did I Have these loud opinionated obnoxious parents that I feel no connection too. I love them but please give me an answer"

Then it hit me like a  ton of bricks " I made them like this to teach you to be strong in your beliefs so you could teach your children to be strong in their beliefs.

Deciding to follow Jesus and have the kids to follow has been the most rewarding thing in my life, I see Logan and Ava standing up for their God and NOT waivering  in their beliefs.

Logan's homework last week, there was a question dealing with muslims and the Koran. I crossed it out. Logan asked me why and I explained to him why. About 10 minutes later I walked back into the room to make sure he packed up his homework and I saw he wrote next to that question I marked out " I cannot answer this question based on my beliefs."

My 11 yr old is standing up for his beliefs and his GOD and against the liberal mind set of public school already !

At the bus stop he said " the teacher is going to mark it wrong, I said Logan who in the end do you answer to ?  "

Logan " God "

Me " okay, so I really don't care if you get it wrong, there will be times in your life where people will mock you, make fun of you, want to hurt you, shun you because of your beliefs Logan but stay true to what you know and the reward in the end is sooo much better than it is here"

I have a lot of issues with my parents, things that have been done and said and still said but I do love them for giving me that part of me to stand up for what I believe in but Now I just do it in a more grown up mature way

So yes now I give, we are supportive of missionaries who travel the world, we give to our church to help those who cannot help themselves.

And yes helping those in Africa IS VERY VERY VERY important, point is, I know that now with the help of Christ.

I have changed a lot over the last 15 yrs but I still have that fire that I will defend what I believe in and that comes from having loud obnoxious opinionated parents and there is my connection ;)

Maybe it worked a little to well ?

Many of you know that Logan and Ava from the time they were young have not been able to view whatever they please as most kids have.

So movies like Transformers, things like that were not on the map, anything violent and or any movie over sexed, trying to keep their minds from being corrupted anymore than need be at a young age.

Now over the last few years we have been trying to slowly  introducing themes and movies to them that we feel they might can handle now and we're seeing how maybe we were wrong in this idea we had.

Logan really has no issues, his brain is wired very different. Ava , OH MY GOD, this child is an absolute train wreck if she sees something frightening or scary. I am talking shaking, screaming, melt down mode.

Ava DOES NOT like being alone at all. She hates the dark which started last year for NO reason.


By her age I had seen Jaws, Alien and so on. Not the best movies for little kids to see but Ava is almost 10 so we decided to maybe start  to desensitize  her a bit. NO GO. I wanted her to be protected from seeing violence and things children SHOULDN'T see, PERIOD but now we are at the other end of the spectrum and I have no clue how to calm her, she knows it's not real but it doesn't help




Movies we've tried

Jaws -  they were fine with the naked chick swimming being eaten BUT OMG the boy on the yellow raft getting eaten, they both screamed and cried

Sleepy hollow,  Logan was fine, Ava was fine til the real first seen of head lopping then screaming ensued with shaking


Maximum Overdrive : I mean the special effects in the 80's weren't great. Kids thought the beginning was great because it was filmed in Wilmington NC and they have been over the bridge in the beginning BUT the scene where the turkey slicer cuts the waitresses arm and blood comes out, Ava again starts to scream and shake and saying STOP IT

Alien ( last night ) Everything was fine until that icon dinner scene where the alien makes his little debut out of Kane's stomach, OH BOY.


You might think we are bad parents for this but something's got to give, At least my kids haven't seen these movies and worse by the time they were 8 and 9 like a lot of their classmates and neighbors have.


I am happy to a point where she is not desensitized but it's getting a little aggravating

Any ideas ?

Picture above reflects the next 10 yrs of her life where My little pony, spongebob and and that stuff will continue to  deflect all that fear

A pat on the back .............

So Logan has returned to Adams ( his old school ) The new charter school was not a good fit for him for many reasons. He got the rock star treatment the day of his return

So immediatly upon his return the therapist said " IEP meeting this week ! "


I was a little perturbed going into the meeting since the day before I had found out Logan failed his VERY FIRST TEST EVER because he forgot to study but his teacher just blew it off in a kind way stating , he has a lot of catching up to do and not to worry or to punish him ( have I told you all how much Logan is loved )

Logan in 4 days of being back at his old school has learned all the math they have learned since going back to school on July 28th, yeah his teacher is pretty impressed.


So we get to the heart of the meeting and now they are saying Logan will be let go from the program and of course I am NOT trying to hear any of this, I am coming up with all kinds of quirks that have appeared, his motor skills have been lacking ( that doesnt count as anything because it doesn't effect his academics ). I said " Well I will have to tell Logan to get some new bad  habits ;).  The three therapist and his current teacher laughed and said " NO NO NO, he will be fine. "  I told them I didn't want him released til end of the year, I am terrified of what middle school will bring. They all four assured me Logan is confident , capable and it pretty amazing and will have no problems BUT what they will do is fill out paper work so that Logan can still go once a week and be a mentor for the other kids, which is basically what he's doing now.

One of the therapist said " Mom, you guys did great on early intervention, pat yourself on the back, most people would LOVE to have their kids at this point "

I responded " I can't , because my job isn't done. Yeah he's a great kid, he's super smart, we are getting their socially but I still have to have my guard up, I have to be ready for any change in anyway."

I am proud that Ryan and I worked ourselves exhausted when he was younger to get him to this point, I still feel like my job isn't done til I die.


I don't think any parent ever rest easy til their kids are like 30, right ?


Am I to hard on myself  ? Why can't I relax in my parenting ?

Doing what comes naturally.............

Over the last month has been interesting.

Back in July Logan told us he was tired of going to church ( he's been going since he was 5 months old ). So we took a 2 week break from going but I listened to the pod cast and did some reading so I was good, Ava NOT HAPPY about not going.


So finally after two week, I asked Logan if he would rather come into the service with the adults with the understanding that HE had TO SIT STILL, no noises, so on and so on. So Logan joined Ryan and I in the auditorium.  When the music started (  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GczXqxSU6HA ) he put his hand into mine and into Ryan's and sang with us, he lifted his hand a little, my heart soared. 


I LOVE LOVE LOVE when he connects with God with us, it's very moving and spiritual to see my children worship and practice the word of God.

A few days after We laid in bed and had this really deep conversation about why do we have to fear God and sin. For example, I said if Bob steals a candy bar and Matthew kills someone, which do you think is worse  ?

Logan and Ava responded , ' KILLING ! "

I replied, " NO, it's not worse in God's eyes. Sin is sin, there is no sin that is worse than the other , NOW Man's law there are different degrees of awfulness for crimes "

I am glad Logan sat with us that day because the series we are in is all about busyness and why we don't hear God when we demand he listen and do what we want. So  Logan can understand that quiet time without distractions needs to start being practiced now. I don't feel like I hear God very much but I can never turn my brain off from worries and stress but there are times when I feel the calmness come over me and I know instantly.




Practicing what we preach and what we know :

I have told the kids that since you are  Christians, people will always watch to see if YOU mess up, say something, do something or not  do something cause of your faith. I have always reminded them that they are not perfect but PEOPLE will love to throw things into their face.

Three examples of living out what they learn and NOT being afraid to be stared at or challenged in their faith.


Last week the kids and I attended a neighbors birthday party at the pool. Everyone was getting their food and sitting down. Ava got her food and was sitting down, I was behind snapping photos. I looked down and saw Ava with her hands together and she went to bring them up but then stopped, I leaned down and whispered " it's okay " I kept my hand on hers and she prayed, then I kissed her on the top of her head. Some of the kids were staring but it's okay we don't mind !



At the beginning of the week Logan came home and said  " I asked my teacher if I could bring my bible to read"

Me " what did she say ? "
Logan " One rule,.... Don't loose it ! "

Yesterday when Logan gets home, he says mom " I'm  not allowed to talk to others about God at school. My new friend in my class asked what the Bible was cause I had it out reading it. I started to tell him about God and the teacher said I couldn't "

I smiled really big and gave him a hug.

Me " Logan you cannot teach others about God at school in that way but you can show them  by being kind, caring, loving, you can shine that light that you have so people see it."

Logan  " I'm going to make a guideline for being  a Christian, the steps you have to follow for my friend and give it to him. "

Me : "  Let  me check with the teacher first please "

Logan " She said I couldn't teach it BUT it DOESN'T mean I can't write it down and give it to him ! "
Ryan and I died laughing, clever boy !

Are my kids perfect, NOPE, but they understand deeply what it means to love and share their light with the people around them and Yes I am a very proud Momma of them ;)






NOTE : The picture at the top of the blog is my work, if you want to use it , please ask ;)

Year of the Monkey ......................

My Monkey Ava will begin the 4th grade on Monday.

This track out /summer feels like it went by way to fast. She is changing in so many ways, her body, her mind and yes even the mouth ( gee I wonder where she gets it from )

It has been hard this last week to watch her and Logan deal with the separation , crying and clinging and them stating " WE HAVE TO SPEND every waking moment together " 

I have found them sleeping together, arms around each other and snuggled, you might think it's weird or strange because of their ages and maybe it is but to see the way they love each other comforts me.

School supplies are purchased, clothes and sneakers  can wait another week since the weather shows no signs of cooling to much.

I pray this year that Ava can focus more. I know she will spread her wings and fly this year  and maybe no phone calls from the office ;))

one can hope right  ;)

New Beginnings

A new charter school has opened up about 4 minutes from the house. I put an application in for Ava and Logan.

Logan got accepted, Ava is # 80 on the waiting list for 4th grade. I think Logan got in because most parents don't want their kids starting a new school in the 5th grade but this school will eventually go all the way thru high school.


Ava will restart school July28th and Logan will begin Aug 20th, so he will have almost a month home alone. I am not worried about if he will have friends there, A lot of his friends from his old school will also be attending this new school.

A lot of people have been negative about the charter schools, well phooey on you  !

My child has a chance at something greater, don't get me wrong with LOVE LOVE ADAMS and all the teachers the kids have had and even the ones they haven't had that we are friends with but this learning will be designed for each child specifically and I feel Logan will greatly benefit from this since he seems to be ahead of the curve.

We have talked to Logan about the expectations, the uniform, keeping it neat, keeping shirt tucked in, wearing the same thing every day ( yay ! saves money for me ! ) the expectations the school puts on him and us as a parents, there is MORE ACCOUNTABILITY.

I also advised Logan that at any moment I can see what assignments have  been turned in and which ones haven't, I don't think he liked that too much but I will love being able to see that online whenever I want.

There are also clubs and maybe even a guitar club starting !

Also the fact that this year he can start learning a foreign language, I have advised him Spanish first then once he masters that he can choose the next language, in turn Logan says " Why do I have to learn Spanish, I am American,"

I replied,  " the more languages you know, the more money you make "

The deal on that has been sealed on that !

Ava will fight me tooth and nail if and when the time comes for her to move over, my social butterfly.

I advised her that even though she loves her friends and I love her friends, a good handful of people she knows will also be attending and her friends won't pay the bills when she's older , a good education will and we as a family will take that path.



NOW with that being said, if the Charter school doesn't work out, Logan is more than welcomed back to his old school, Ryan could tell when he was speaking to his old school, they didn't want him to leave but they understood why.

I already feel the guilt of Logan leaving some of his friends, I've gotten the emails and messages but we have to do what we feel is best for our kids but there are always weekends and holiday breaks for get togethers !

I just feel in my heart that we are being led to this place, as a good friend Audrey told me " God wants him at Cardinal" and I truly believe this and Ava will follow next year.


So just keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we make this transition, one in year round and one in traditional is SURELY GOING TO BE INTERESTING !!!